Short Story: The Subway

mystery-thriller-fiction-writing-prompts (Photo from

The Subway

The corridor leading from the parking garage was dark, shards of a fluorescent light scattered cross the tile floor. The stench of urine and disinfectant burned his nostrils as he made his way to the train platforms. The sound of brakes screeching to a halt drifted from the platform a flight of stairs below him. He’d missed that train, but not to worry, despite the late hour there were more arrivals.

He felt energized, seeking his prey at the subway station was his favorite pastime. While there were other locations he frequented, he liked the challenges the subway station provided. The game was to avoid the CCTV cameras, and in the cavernous parking structure, practice his stealth so not to warn his target.

The train that arrived a few minutes before was pulling out, the platform deserted. He plopped down on a bench, lit a cigarette, and waited. A few people straggled in, one young man dressed in a sharp suit glanced at his phone then down the track as if he was willing the train to come. Taking a drag from his cigarette, he chuckled. That boy needed to learn patience, success was all about patience.

Rumbling from an arriving train, echoed through the tunnel, and he tossed his cigarette away, the hairs on his arms prickling with excitement. As the doors slid open, he tensed his thighs ready to move. Four passengers disembarked, none to his liking, and he sat down, waiting.

The third train offered up his prize. Tall, lithe, her wavy auburn hair swirling about her shoulders, she exited the coach, and he felt the stirring of his need. From her suit and the expensive leather briefcase she slung over her shoulder, she was doubtless a lawyer. He liked his victims smart; they always tried to negotiate with him. She headed toward the parking structure, and he stood up to follow. His fingers wrapped around the switchblade in his jacket pocket, his heart racing with anticipation of the fun the next two days would bring.


This was written in response to an exercise for Fiction Writers Boot Camp on Facebook. The exercise was to write a thriller/mystery based on the photo prompt provided. Fiction Writers Boot Camp was created to address the fundamentals of writing.


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